I have always been a patient person. The sad truth is that since I had little expectations from people, being patient was easy.
On March 9, 2000, I dedicated myself to God,,, as an adult.
Oh, I was baptized at the age of 12 on Mother's Day, because that is what I was expected to do.
In my mid 30's during challenging financial times, I once again turned to God. Since I always thought of myself as a very nice and decent person, I honestly did not feel that I needed much changing in my life. I had always willingly helped others and tried to treat people in a manner in which I wanted to be treated. The only guilt I sometimes felt was the fact that I was not active in a church. At that time, the behavior of most church folks did not make me feel as if I was missing much. When I visited different churches, I left feeling as if I would never have enough money to become a member.
On that dreary March day in 2000, everything was different.
I felt as if every part of me had died. I turned to God because I literally had no where else to turn.
He lifted me up out of a pit of despair and gave me a new life.
My life has been filled with miracles and the wonder of God's grace. It took a little time, just a little,,for me to realize that God loves me just as I am. It took much longer for me to learn how to love myself.
Unlike my life before, I asked God for His guidance. I knew that God had always been present in my 'other' life, but this time I placed Him in His rightful place,,,,FIRST.
The years have passed quickly. Some days have been quite a challenge, but most have been much like an adventure.
All have been filled with the assurance of God's amazing unconditional love,,for me.
For the first time, I discovered the joy of allowing myself to dream.
It takes a lot of faith to dream at the age of 50.
But,,,God told me that my heart did not have to troubled, and I did not have to be afraid because the best is yet to come..
The year I turned 55 was exceptionally hard. My health took a nose dive and I felt that I would never live my dreams. For an entire year, I struggled with where my life was, or at least appeared to be.
But,,,I made it; stronger in my faith than ever before.
* I do not believe that God will give His children anything that is not best for them; even if we ask. We do have the free will to go off on our own to get something that might not be in our best interest.
Free will has life altering power,,,use wisely.
We must strive to gain enough faith to understand that God will provide us with what we need and desire at just the right time,,,if it is His will.
It is not His will; we do not need it, and He will not provide it.
He is our Father,,,He knows what is best for His children.
I learned early into this journey that in order for me to give my feelings to God, I had to recognize and acknowledge what those feelings are. There are none too heavy, or too small. Of course, He already knows, but it feels good to 'talk to my Father' because I know without any doubt that He hears me.
Thankfully, I now realize that I am exactly where I am supposed to be in my life.
God has filled my life with people who genuinely love and accept me for who I am.
I now realize that today,,,,right now,,,this is the best,,,for me.
I now wait with anticipation, expectation, and hope,,,for whatever God might still have for me.
Look at how long He waited on me.
Because,,
God's love is forever.
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