I find it interesting that we live during a time when individuals have fought and continue to fight for basic human rights for all people. Yet, women will seek the approval and permission of a group of self appointed experts usually referred to as ' they say or people say',,to dictate what is proper for them to wear at specific times in their lives.
I am amazed when intelligent, mature women question whether they should purchase an item they really want, because it might not be age appropriate. Yes, on occasion, I have even questioned myself. I have even gone as far as asking the opinion of someone I trust to validate my choice.
I mean really, why would we give that power to a select group of society?
If a woman has good taste, she will rarely stray from what is acceptable,,for her. Mature women have had years to figure out through trial and error what styles are best for them.
Personally, I have no desire to go back in time. I have rocked hot pants, mini skirts and hip-hugging bell bottoms. However, I will under no circumstance, wear mom jeans, or more to the point,,loose fitting jeans. The fabrics of today make wearing a nice fitting pair of jeans a joyful experience.
I am 61 years old and my favorite outfit for this time of year is a nice pair of jeans with a comfortable tank, and a black leather jacket that stops at the hips. Finish this look with a nice pair of black high heeled boots, and all is well. I have chosen to lower the height of the heels, but I can live with that.
I will never wear what I refer to as 'traditional church lady attire'. I will never be dressed in the same bright multi-colors from head to toe. If I have to choose a pants suit to avoid pantyhose,,,I will. Granted, there are still some occasions where pantyhose are required, but I wear them under duress.
I prefer separates instead of suits, but when I purchase a suit, there must be a tasteful edge.
None of my peers attempt to dress in the same styles as their daughters, but a few dress a tad bit more matronly than I do.
We understand that we have the right to dress as we please.
At our age, we do not need the approval or critique of each other,,,or anyone.
We can affirm the beauty of each other without liking the outfit the person is wearing.
If an older woman has great legs and decides to wear a short dress,,more power to her. They are her legs,,,her dress,,,her rightful decision.
When a woman dances to the beat of her own drum,,, the music is always beautiful,,at any age.
And so is she.
Monday, November 19, 2012
The Absence Of A Mother's Love / A Woman's Perspective
Giving birth is not a guarantee that the mother will love her child. Thankfully, most people are unable to relate to this sad fact. Those of us who can relate, are usually left with a void that only the love of God can truly fill.
In my culture, the arms of an extended family reaches beyond the normal range. I was raised by a great aunt and uncle. By the time I was born, they had long given up the possibility of having children. At the age of three months, my mother and grandfather gave me to them. As the story goes, I was also wanted by my paternal grandparents, and a cousin of my father's. While growing up, I would often imagine how my life would have been with the other two choices.
I tried to soften the facts by telling myself that at least,,all of these people really wanted me.
The fact still remained that my birth mother,,gave me away.
By the age of six, I knew that I was in the right place. Knowing this allowed me to accept my life as it was. Yes, even at that young age. I honestly have no memory of thinking with the innocence and freedom of a child. I was on intimate terms with my vivid imagination. I expected nothing from anyone. I had to learn how to sort out grown-up situations and choices with the mind-set of a child.
My acceptance of my life,,,with truth,,,gave me the freedom to love my mother unconditionally.
That same truth allowed me to accept that my mother's love for me was,,limited,,,at best.
How does a child live without the love of their mother??
The answer can be complicated. I knew that Momma and Daddy loved me. They also constantly reminded me how thankful I should always be that they took me. I was the perfect example of an obedient child. I simply had no choice. I was no longer the three month old baby who had two other families anxious to shower me with love. If I messed up, where would I go??
As I matured I understood that they were loving me in the best way they knew how. They had no idea how painful their words were for me. They accepted and loved me. I loved and accepted them.
My biological mother was not a part of my life until I turned 12. She and her husband along with my two younger brothers moved on the street where I lived. I was thrilled.. My stepfather has always been good to me and my brothers were adorable. I will just say that being myself was a huge disappointment to my mother. I accepted this along will all of the other facts of my life.
Although I was disappointed that being around my mother did not remotely come close to the scenes in my imagination, I still thought she was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen.
Most people still did not know I was her daughter,,,but I no longer cared.
I knew that I was her daughter, and that was enough for me.
The fact that my mother gave me away will always be a tender spot in my heart. But, God did put me in the best place to be loved and raised.
The most difficult challenge has been accepting that I was never a priority in my mother's life. She was simply not capable of loving me in the same manner she loved my siblings.
Forgiving her opened the door for God's comfort and healing of my spirit.
During the last few years of her life, she would sometimes call and say that she loved me. The words were nice to hear. But honestly, no matter how much I wanted to believe her,,,I could not.
That still did not change my love for her.
When she passed away a couple of years ago, my pain was deep and complex. I also realized how completely God had filled the void where I felt her love should have been.
She was my mother.
She loved me the best that she could.
Who am I to question,,her best??
My peace comes from the fact that I loved her,, unconditionally.
Because..
She was my mother.
Life is seldom how we want it to be.
We all fall short in some way.
God will always remain my refuge and my source of strength.
He loved me even before I loved Him.,,
Unconditionally.
In my culture, the arms of an extended family reaches beyond the normal range. I was raised by a great aunt and uncle. By the time I was born, they had long given up the possibility of having children. At the age of three months, my mother and grandfather gave me to them. As the story goes, I was also wanted by my paternal grandparents, and a cousin of my father's. While growing up, I would often imagine how my life would have been with the other two choices.
I tried to soften the facts by telling myself that at least,,all of these people really wanted me.
The fact still remained that my birth mother,,gave me away.
By the age of six, I knew that I was in the right place. Knowing this allowed me to accept my life as it was. Yes, even at that young age. I honestly have no memory of thinking with the innocence and freedom of a child. I was on intimate terms with my vivid imagination. I expected nothing from anyone. I had to learn how to sort out grown-up situations and choices with the mind-set of a child.
My acceptance of my life,,,with truth,,,gave me the freedom to love my mother unconditionally.
That same truth allowed me to accept that my mother's love for me was,,limited,,,at best.
How does a child live without the love of their mother??
The answer can be complicated. I knew that Momma and Daddy loved me. They also constantly reminded me how thankful I should always be that they took me. I was the perfect example of an obedient child. I simply had no choice. I was no longer the three month old baby who had two other families anxious to shower me with love. If I messed up, where would I go??
As I matured I understood that they were loving me in the best way they knew how. They had no idea how painful their words were for me. They accepted and loved me. I loved and accepted them.
My biological mother was not a part of my life until I turned 12. She and her husband along with my two younger brothers moved on the street where I lived. I was thrilled.. My stepfather has always been good to me and my brothers were adorable. I will just say that being myself was a huge disappointment to my mother. I accepted this along will all of the other facts of my life.
Although I was disappointed that being around my mother did not remotely come close to the scenes in my imagination, I still thought she was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen.
Most people still did not know I was her daughter,,,but I no longer cared.
I knew that I was her daughter, and that was enough for me.
The fact that my mother gave me away will always be a tender spot in my heart. But, God did put me in the best place to be loved and raised.
The most difficult challenge has been accepting that I was never a priority in my mother's life. She was simply not capable of loving me in the same manner she loved my siblings.
Forgiving her opened the door for God's comfort and healing of my spirit.
During the last few years of her life, she would sometimes call and say that she loved me. The words were nice to hear. But honestly, no matter how much I wanted to believe her,,,I could not.
That still did not change my love for her.
When she passed away a couple of years ago, my pain was deep and complex. I also realized how completely God had filled the void where I felt her love should have been.
She was my mother.
She loved me the best that she could.
Who am I to question,,her best??
My peace comes from the fact that I loved her,, unconditionally.
Because..
She was my mother.
Life is seldom how we want it to be.
We all fall short in some way.
God will always remain my refuge and my source of strength.
He loved me even before I loved Him.,,
Unconditionally.
Thursday, November 15, 2012
Reality of Celibacy / This Woman's Perspective
It is not an easy decision to make a personal commitment to practice celibacy. We live in a world that is obsessed with sex. Anywhere you go,,everywhere you look, sex is a factor. Anything relating to sex is an almost guaranteed money maker,,,no pun intended. Add that to the fact that God made us sexual beings, increases the challenges that are inevitable,,at least for me.
All of the events surrounding my divorce along with the emotional challenge of my Lupus, sent me running to God's loving embrace. My head, heart and spirit were a complete mess. The rejection of a spouse by way of infidelity destroys a woman's sense of ,,being a woman. I strongly believed that I was unattractive and undesirable and unlovable.
Thankfully, when God taught me how to love myself, I understood just how wrong I was.
During my time of healing, I made the decision to practice celibacy. I was of course trying to live my life according to God's will, but honestly, I knew how fragile and inexperienced I was regarding the world of sex, unless I was married to that person.
After entering the world of dating for the first time at the age of 50, I quickly realized just how clueless I really was. When I realized that men generally expect sex after a couple of dinners, I decided to step back from the process.
I have always believed that the sexual experience HAS to be better when there is an emotional connection between the two people. Not just physical chemistry, but a kinship that goes beneath the surface. I suspect that most women feel the same, but since men seem to be the total opposite in their view of sex, women often feel they have no choice but to comply with the needs of the man. Plus,,there is also the fact that God made the sexual experience one that is generally one of pleasure.
I am also convinced that women are much more sexual than men because of our ability to own our feelings.
As with most decisions that require focus and discipline, there are often moments of weakness when your body might engage in an all out war with your convictions and truth. If that happens, and you step across a line you have given yourself, seek God's forgiveness, forgive yourself and,,,continue your journey; stronger from the experience.
There are also times when you debate with yourself about the relevancy of your commitment. This usually comes up if a man who seriously peaks your interest, crosses your path. You are once again face to face with,,your free will.
When you look around and everyone around you is living a life that is filled with physical intimacy, it is not easy to be true to your personal beliefs. It is not easy to be alone in a world that often seems to be designed for couples.
I have met many people over the last 12 years that honestly believe that it is impossible for a person to be celibate and content at the same time.
Each person must dance to the beat of their own drum.
We will never have the option to judge the choices of another person.
It is indeed possible to be celibate,,and content at the same time.
As my faith grows, so has my ability to live my truth.
For me, whatever God places on my heart, He also gives me the strength to make happen.
All of the events surrounding my divorce along with the emotional challenge of my Lupus, sent me running to God's loving embrace. My head, heart and spirit were a complete mess. The rejection of a spouse by way of infidelity destroys a woman's sense of ,,being a woman. I strongly believed that I was unattractive and undesirable and unlovable.
Thankfully, when God taught me how to love myself, I understood just how wrong I was.
During my time of healing, I made the decision to practice celibacy. I was of course trying to live my life according to God's will, but honestly, I knew how fragile and inexperienced I was regarding the world of sex, unless I was married to that person.
After entering the world of dating for the first time at the age of 50, I quickly realized just how clueless I really was. When I realized that men generally expect sex after a couple of dinners, I decided to step back from the process.
I have always believed that the sexual experience HAS to be better when there is an emotional connection between the two people. Not just physical chemistry, but a kinship that goes beneath the surface. I suspect that most women feel the same, but since men seem to be the total opposite in their view of sex, women often feel they have no choice but to comply with the needs of the man. Plus,,there is also the fact that God made the sexual experience one that is generally one of pleasure.
I am also convinced that women are much more sexual than men because of our ability to own our feelings.
As with most decisions that require focus and discipline, there are often moments of weakness when your body might engage in an all out war with your convictions and truth. If that happens, and you step across a line you have given yourself, seek God's forgiveness, forgive yourself and,,,continue your journey; stronger from the experience.
There are also times when you debate with yourself about the relevancy of your commitment. This usually comes up if a man who seriously peaks your interest, crosses your path. You are once again face to face with,,your free will.
When you look around and everyone around you is living a life that is filled with physical intimacy, it is not easy to be true to your personal beliefs. It is not easy to be alone in a world that often seems to be designed for couples.
I have met many people over the last 12 years that honestly believe that it is impossible for a person to be celibate and content at the same time.
Each person must dance to the beat of their own drum.
We will never have the option to judge the choices of another person.
It is indeed possible to be celibate,,and content at the same time.
As my faith grows, so has my ability to live my truth.
For me, whatever God places on my heart, He also gives me the strength to make happen.
Saturday, November 10, 2012
Replacing The Fears of Diversity With Acceptance / A Woman's Perspective
There is a proven shift in the mindset of the majority of American citizens. A shift that I never expected to live long enough to see. Obviously, most of our citizens are insightful enough to understand how important diversity is to the progressive growth of this country.
*This will post not be a focus on politics.
A person's system of belief and their personal politics are areas I feel should be addressed by their invitation only.
Each person must live with their own truth.
Why are so many people reluctant or afraid to accept the differences of other people?
I honestly believe that in most cases, the reluctance stems from a basic lack of knowledge. None of us are born with a preset switch that will automatically dismiss the worth of certain groups of people.
We learn how to accept people and situations during our childhood; primarily from our family.
Even if the immediate environment is tainted with biased opinions, parents have the power and choice to raise children who will grow up with an open mind, and most importantly,,,an open heart.
*Parents have the responsibility to teach their children that it is wrong to judge an entire race of people based on the actions or choices of some.
*This is important in regards to ALL races and ethnicity's..
It is a sign of maturity to examine the politics of your family. Some lessons learned will be proven to be true; some will often be questioned. Your personal experiences may also cause you to adjust your views. You have the free will to follow your heart,,and your truth.
Most of our opinions are based largely on our experiences. Because we are human, for some, a bad experience can be worse if the other person is of a different race or culture. Although difficult, it is possible to refrain from projecting your feelings onto an entire race of people.
We are blessed to live in a country that provides us with the freedom of speech. Along with that freedom, there is responsibility that is often ignored.
*For the first time in history, that freedom has given people the opportunity to make shameful, painful, and dangerous statements regarding the President of our country and his family,,,,freely, without fear of punishment.
*A President that was elected as a result of the Democratic process that is an international badge of freedom.
* The real issue is the respect of the office,,,,not the politics.
As interesting message for other countries....
There are a select group of people who live quite well off the fear(s) of other people. Over the years, they have picked up a huge following.
I have always wondered if they would ever consider inviting any of their followers into their homes for dinner...
How can we make a positive difference?
Most important life lessons begin at home. Children are always tuned into the conversations of their parents. A parents response to everything from a news report, to an incident that happened at school or work is a life lesson for that child.
It the parent uses a broad brush to paint a race or culture, so will their child
.
We must make a real effort to expose our children and ourselves to other cultures.
It is impossible to understand something that you have no knowledge of.
It should be just as impossible to judge someone that you know absolutely nothing about.
It is unwise to rely on any form of media as an accurate source of truth regarding race or ethnicity.
Imagine if we looked at any of the reality shows and believed their lives were an accurate example of how everyone in their race behaved.
Take the time to really get to know people of different races.
Make the time and effort to sit down and have a respectful open minded conversation. Approach the opportunity with an open mind,,,and open heart.
People from all cultures are usually receptive to a genuine desire to understand who they are.
Most people are also usually receptive to simple acts of kindness.
Inclusion mandates acceptance, along with a physical and emotional act of reaching out to include others.
Taking into account, the human imperfections that are present in ALL races and cultures, the positives of working together will far outweigh the fears,,real or imagined.
After all is said, and said again,,,and again..
God expects us to accept and love each other.
That is His truth.
*This will post not be a focus on politics.
A person's system of belief and their personal politics are areas I feel should be addressed by their invitation only.
Each person must live with their own truth.
Why are so many people reluctant or afraid to accept the differences of other people?
I honestly believe that in most cases, the reluctance stems from a basic lack of knowledge. None of us are born with a preset switch that will automatically dismiss the worth of certain groups of people.
We learn how to accept people and situations during our childhood; primarily from our family.
Even if the immediate environment is tainted with biased opinions, parents have the power and choice to raise children who will grow up with an open mind, and most importantly,,,an open heart.
*Parents have the responsibility to teach their children that it is wrong to judge an entire race of people based on the actions or choices of some.
*This is important in regards to ALL races and ethnicity's..
It is a sign of maturity to examine the politics of your family. Some lessons learned will be proven to be true; some will often be questioned. Your personal experiences may also cause you to adjust your views. You have the free will to follow your heart,,and your truth.
Most of our opinions are based largely on our experiences. Because we are human, for some, a bad experience can be worse if the other person is of a different race or culture. Although difficult, it is possible to refrain from projecting your feelings onto an entire race of people.
We are blessed to live in a country that provides us with the freedom of speech. Along with that freedom, there is responsibility that is often ignored.
*For the first time in history, that freedom has given people the opportunity to make shameful, painful, and dangerous statements regarding the President of our country and his family,,,,freely, without fear of punishment.
*A President that was elected as a result of the Democratic process that is an international badge of freedom.
* The real issue is the respect of the office,,,,not the politics.
As interesting message for other countries....
There are a select group of people who live quite well off the fear(s) of other people. Over the years, they have picked up a huge following.
I have always wondered if they would ever consider inviting any of their followers into their homes for dinner...
How can we make a positive difference?
Most important life lessons begin at home. Children are always tuned into the conversations of their parents. A parents response to everything from a news report, to an incident that happened at school or work is a life lesson for that child.
It the parent uses a broad brush to paint a race or culture, so will their child
.
We must make a real effort to expose our children and ourselves to other cultures.
It is impossible to understand something that you have no knowledge of.
It should be just as impossible to judge someone that you know absolutely nothing about.
It is unwise to rely on any form of media as an accurate source of truth regarding race or ethnicity.
Imagine if we looked at any of the reality shows and believed their lives were an accurate example of how everyone in their race behaved.
Take the time to really get to know people of different races.
Make the time and effort to sit down and have a respectful open minded conversation. Approach the opportunity with an open mind,,,and open heart.
People from all cultures are usually receptive to a genuine desire to understand who they are.
Most people are also usually receptive to simple acts of kindness.
Inclusion mandates acceptance, along with a physical and emotional act of reaching out to include others.
Taking into account, the human imperfections that are present in ALL races and cultures, the positives of working together will far outweigh the fears,,real or imagined.
After all is said, and said again,,,and again..
God expects us to accept and love each other.
That is His truth.
Monday, November 5, 2012
The Disappearance of Gender Roles in Relationships / A Woman's Perspective
I was married over half of my life, but being the forever romantic and creative spirit that I am, the dynamics of the relationship between men and women has always been a topic of great interest.
I have the option to create the characters of choice for my stories. They will be whoever I want or need them to be.
Since I firmly believe it is possible for men and women to have loving and meaningful relationships, my characters reflect the positives of both men and women. The relationships are not perfect, but they work through whatever challenges arise. Of course, a good story always has conflict that has to be overcome.
My male characters are caring, responsible, and thoughtful men. As their relationship with the woman grows, so does his need to take care of her. My female characters are capable of being independent in their midset, with the clear understanding that a mature and equally confident man can and will accept his role as provider, and protector. She will support and nurture that part of her man that is often hidden from the outside world. They will work together to build a solid relationship.
I have come to understand that it is quite possible that through my stories, I am living in a fantasy world. So, if someone is laughing, or shaking their head in amused dismay, I understand.
The gender roles of men and women seem to be lost in a sea of grayness. Older men swear that the Women's Movement made women want to be men. That is ridiculous, but sounds fine to anyone who is reaching for an excuse to be less responsible,,,,for anything. Women who hated the idea of being responsible for an entire household and all of it's occupants often use the same excuse. Women and men should receive equal pay for equal work. Period.
Honestly, common sense dictates that if both the man and woman are working outside of the household to provide a lifestyle they BOTH want, they should share the household responsibilities.
If a man goes to work everyday to take care of his family, and the woman is at home all day,,,,he has every right to expect a clean house, a meal, and clean clothes to wear to that job he has that provides for his family. *If by chance he starts to act a little crazy and unappreciative, he will likely have to fend for himself,,sometimes. *If by chance she takes both him and his job for granted,,,he will no doubt find some way,,,or someone to soothe his feelings. Work the issues out..
Getting back to gender roles during the formation of the relationship.
Am I crazy in thinking that a man in a committed relationship with a woman would assist his woman in any way that was needed?? Without her asking?? Am I???
The male characters in my stories are not rich, but financially secure. Since my stories focus of the lives of people who are over the age of 50, I have decided they deserve to be free of financial stress. They have likely spent enough time facing sleepless nights trying to figure out how to stretch a few dollars. They have paid their dues,,literally.
I understand that in the real world, real financial security is a dream we seek. The average man might not have extra funds to help anyone. But honestly, how can a man be in an intimate relationship with a woman and NOT do the best he can to lighten her load??
Is this not what men are expected to do??
The area falls into murkiness because most older women have been taught to refrain from taking money from a man, because he will instantly become possessive. Women are also taught to learn how to take care of themselves. The importance of getting an education usually comes up during this conversation. A man who has no desire to take care of anyone but himself, is delighted to find a woman with this mindset.
The confusion thickens when so many women are quick to take on the job of taking care of the man in her life. Not helping him during rough times; but when the man is perfectly healthy, but unwilling to lift a finger to do anything unless it directly benefits him..
This mindset has become frighteningly common amongst all generations.
And lastly, there are the women who say if they accepted any help from their man, they would feel like a prostitute. Now, if he placed a wad of cash in her panties immediately after sex, I could possibly understand their feelings. However, a prostitute does not buy sexy lingerie just for him, cook his meals, or wash his clothes. A prostitute does not comfort and support him whenever the needs arises. Does she??
So, if a woman received a huge electric bill, or needed emergency car repairs, why would her man NOT help her with these issues,,,,,without her asking?
*And yes, I know there are women who are guilty of acting like prostitutes by demanding and begging for money whenever they can,,,because they can. But,,this post is not about women who would fall under the heading of 'golddiggers' or men who would be viewed as 'gigolos'.
*
By way of society, many people have chosen to throw out the positive traditions and expectations associated with relationships and families along with those in need of updating; ending up with confusion.
* Our young people are stuck with a web of inconsistencies regarding their basic roles in life.
*Older people, who should,,and do,, know better have jumped on the band wagon because it is less work for them.
For now, I will simply stick with my stories..
I have the option to create the characters of choice for my stories. They will be whoever I want or need them to be.
Since I firmly believe it is possible for men and women to have loving and meaningful relationships, my characters reflect the positives of both men and women. The relationships are not perfect, but they work through whatever challenges arise. Of course, a good story always has conflict that has to be overcome.
My male characters are caring, responsible, and thoughtful men. As their relationship with the woman grows, so does his need to take care of her. My female characters are capable of being independent in their midset, with the clear understanding that a mature and equally confident man can and will accept his role as provider, and protector. She will support and nurture that part of her man that is often hidden from the outside world. They will work together to build a solid relationship.
I have come to understand that it is quite possible that through my stories, I am living in a fantasy world. So, if someone is laughing, or shaking their head in amused dismay, I understand.
The gender roles of men and women seem to be lost in a sea of grayness. Older men swear that the Women's Movement made women want to be men. That is ridiculous, but sounds fine to anyone who is reaching for an excuse to be less responsible,,,,for anything. Women who hated the idea of being responsible for an entire household and all of it's occupants often use the same excuse. Women and men should receive equal pay for equal work. Period.
Honestly, common sense dictates that if both the man and woman are working outside of the household to provide a lifestyle they BOTH want, they should share the household responsibilities.
If a man goes to work everyday to take care of his family, and the woman is at home all day,,,,he has every right to expect a clean house, a meal, and clean clothes to wear to that job he has that provides for his family. *If by chance he starts to act a little crazy and unappreciative, he will likely have to fend for himself,,sometimes. *If by chance she takes both him and his job for granted,,,he will no doubt find some way,,,or someone to soothe his feelings. Work the issues out..
Getting back to gender roles during the formation of the relationship.
Am I crazy in thinking that a man in a committed relationship with a woman would assist his woman in any way that was needed?? Without her asking?? Am I???
The male characters in my stories are not rich, but financially secure. Since my stories focus of the lives of people who are over the age of 50, I have decided they deserve to be free of financial stress. They have likely spent enough time facing sleepless nights trying to figure out how to stretch a few dollars. They have paid their dues,,literally.
I understand that in the real world, real financial security is a dream we seek. The average man might not have extra funds to help anyone. But honestly, how can a man be in an intimate relationship with a woman and NOT do the best he can to lighten her load??
Is this not what men are expected to do??
The area falls into murkiness because most older women have been taught to refrain from taking money from a man, because he will instantly become possessive. Women are also taught to learn how to take care of themselves. The importance of getting an education usually comes up during this conversation. A man who has no desire to take care of anyone but himself, is delighted to find a woman with this mindset.
The confusion thickens when so many women are quick to take on the job of taking care of the man in her life. Not helping him during rough times; but when the man is perfectly healthy, but unwilling to lift a finger to do anything unless it directly benefits him..
This mindset has become frighteningly common amongst all generations.
And lastly, there are the women who say if they accepted any help from their man, they would feel like a prostitute. Now, if he placed a wad of cash in her panties immediately after sex, I could possibly understand their feelings. However, a prostitute does not buy sexy lingerie just for him, cook his meals, or wash his clothes. A prostitute does not comfort and support him whenever the needs arises. Does she??
So, if a woman received a huge electric bill, or needed emergency car repairs, why would her man NOT help her with these issues,,,,,without her asking?
*And yes, I know there are women who are guilty of acting like prostitutes by demanding and begging for money whenever they can,,,because they can. But,,this post is not about women who would fall under the heading of 'golddiggers' or men who would be viewed as 'gigolos'.
*
By way of society, many people have chosen to throw out the positive traditions and expectations associated with relationships and families along with those in need of updating; ending up with confusion.
* Our young people are stuck with a web of inconsistencies regarding their basic roles in life.
*Older people, who should,,and do,, know better have jumped on the band wagon because it is less work for them.
For now, I will simply stick with my stories..
Guarding Your Truth__At Any Age / A Woman's Perspective
The fact that each of us are unique in our own right, makes it safe to say that our personal 'truths' are customized just for us. No matter what our truth happens to be, we must always be mindful of just how important it is in the purpose of our lives.
The pathway to my truth has been filled with pain, disappointment, and sadness; resulting in growth, joy and peace. I see my truth as being stored in a very nice box, comfortably nestled deep inside the core of my spirit. The box is filled with my beliefs, my dreams, my moral compass,,,and my natural instinct. My peace has become such a part of who I am, I recently made the mistake of not being careful enough regarding personal choices. A very wise friend told me to always "guard my truth". I had never thought there would be a need. I consider his words a lesson learned. Hence the name of this post.
As an older woman, I was extremely disappointed in myself. I learned many years ago just how accurate my instincts have always been. I choose to believe that our instinct is a special gift that God has given women to better fulfill our purpose for Him.
Since God does not make mistakes, the fact that men and women are so different in so many ways is certainly no accident. It does take effort and a serious spirit of discernment,,,, and lots of prayer to figure out how to successfully blend together.
Young women are likely to ignore their instincts because of simple lack of experience in regards to just how accurate their instincts are. It can be an amazing experience when you finally figure out how powerful the 'truth' of your inner feelings can be.
When a woman is young, she is so often filled with the confidence of her youth. She feels the surge of her own power and trusts her ability to make the best decisions for her. After all, she has a lifetime to get it right.... Right??
As older women, we are on intimate terms with our inner feelings, but life situations can sometimes cause us to doubt ourselves. It could be either loneliness, boredom or even the fear of over thinking. It is during these times when we choose to ignore the gentle nudges of our inner voice. We ignore the questions we should be asking ourselves and rush to the answers that are almost guaranteed to be disappointing,,,,but not in the least surprising.
People always tell and show you who they are. Always.
We have to own the mistake of ignoring THEIR 'truth'..
So, what next?
For a young woman, the life lesson she learns that can be directly connected to an inner feeling,,, will help her to recognize and embrace her gift of natural instinct. She has the free will to ignore her inner voice, but as she matures, those times will become fewer.
For the older woman, she will of course, pray, forgive herself and move on.
She is fully aware that even the mindset of another person can be a threat to a person's 'truth.
One of the most interesting differences between men and women can be seen in what is often,,not always,,their approach to logic and power.
When a woman cares for a man, and he has 'issues' or what might be viewed as challenges, her nurturing instinct will kick in and she will do her best to help him,,,and at least try to fix the problem. Even if she becomes angry,( even an aggressive woman,) she will seldom use his issues as an emotional weapon.
It is quite likely that a man will take the same issues and challenges of a woman and attempt to use them against her as a show of logical manipulation. This is especially true when the man feels the need to hone in his point.
*It is important to take inventory of our truths from time to time.
*We must recognize that our truths are major components of who we are..
*Take the time to remember how challenging our life lessons were to learn, and appreciate their true value..
We cannot afford to ignore a God given gift.
We must always make the effort to hear the gentle voice of our heart.
The pathway to my truth has been filled with pain, disappointment, and sadness; resulting in growth, joy and peace. I see my truth as being stored in a very nice box, comfortably nestled deep inside the core of my spirit. The box is filled with my beliefs, my dreams, my moral compass,,,and my natural instinct. My peace has become such a part of who I am, I recently made the mistake of not being careful enough regarding personal choices. A very wise friend told me to always "guard my truth". I had never thought there would be a need. I consider his words a lesson learned. Hence the name of this post.
As an older woman, I was extremely disappointed in myself. I learned many years ago just how accurate my instincts have always been. I choose to believe that our instinct is a special gift that God has given women to better fulfill our purpose for Him.
Since God does not make mistakes, the fact that men and women are so different in so many ways is certainly no accident. It does take effort and a serious spirit of discernment,,,, and lots of prayer to figure out how to successfully blend together.
Young women are likely to ignore their instincts because of simple lack of experience in regards to just how accurate their instincts are. It can be an amazing experience when you finally figure out how powerful the 'truth' of your inner feelings can be.
When a woman is young, she is so often filled with the confidence of her youth. She feels the surge of her own power and trusts her ability to make the best decisions for her. After all, she has a lifetime to get it right.... Right??
As older women, we are on intimate terms with our inner feelings, but life situations can sometimes cause us to doubt ourselves. It could be either loneliness, boredom or even the fear of over thinking. It is during these times when we choose to ignore the gentle nudges of our inner voice. We ignore the questions we should be asking ourselves and rush to the answers that are almost guaranteed to be disappointing,,,,but not in the least surprising.
People always tell and show you who they are. Always.
We have to own the mistake of ignoring THEIR 'truth'..
So, what next?
For a young woman, the life lesson she learns that can be directly connected to an inner feeling,,, will help her to recognize and embrace her gift of natural instinct. She has the free will to ignore her inner voice, but as she matures, those times will become fewer.
For the older woman, she will of course, pray, forgive herself and move on.
She is fully aware that even the mindset of another person can be a threat to a person's 'truth.
One of the most interesting differences between men and women can be seen in what is often,,not always,,their approach to logic and power.
When a woman cares for a man, and he has 'issues' or what might be viewed as challenges, her nurturing instinct will kick in and she will do her best to help him,,,and at least try to fix the problem. Even if she becomes angry,( even an aggressive woman,) she will seldom use his issues as an emotional weapon.
It is quite likely that a man will take the same issues and challenges of a woman and attempt to use them against her as a show of logical manipulation. This is especially true when the man feels the need to hone in his point.
*It is important to take inventory of our truths from time to time.
*We must recognize that our truths are major components of who we are..
*Take the time to remember how challenging our life lessons were to learn, and appreciate their true value..
We cannot afford to ignore a God given gift.
We must always make the effort to hear the gentle voice of our heart.
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