I was married over half of my life, but being the forever romantic and creative spirit that I am, the dynamics of the relationship between men and women has always been a topic of great interest.
I have the option to create the characters of choice for my stories. They will be whoever I want or need them to be.
Since I firmly believe it is possible for men and women to have loving and meaningful relationships, my characters reflect the positives of both men and women. The relationships are not perfect, but they work through whatever challenges arise. Of course, a good story always has conflict that has to be overcome.
My male characters are caring, responsible, and thoughtful men. As their relationship with the woman grows, so does his need to take care of her. My female characters are capable of being independent in their midset, with the clear understanding that a mature and equally confident man can and will accept his role as provider, and protector. She will support and nurture that part of her man that is often hidden from the outside world. They will work together to build a solid relationship.
I have come to understand that it is quite possible that through my stories, I am living in a fantasy world. So, if someone is laughing, or shaking their head in amused dismay, I understand.
The gender roles of men and women seem to be lost in a sea of grayness. Older men swear that the Women's Movement made women want to be men. That is ridiculous, but sounds fine to anyone who is reaching for an excuse to be less responsible,,,,for anything. Women who hated the idea of being responsible for an entire household and all of it's occupants often use the same excuse. Women and men should receive equal pay for equal work. Period.
Honestly, common sense dictates that if both the man and woman are working outside of the household to provide a lifestyle they BOTH want, they should share the household responsibilities.
If a man goes to work everyday to take care of his family, and the woman is at home all day,,,,he has every right to expect a clean house, a meal, and clean clothes to wear to that job he has that provides for his family. *If by chance he starts to act a little crazy and unappreciative, he will likely have to fend for himself,,sometimes. *If by chance she takes both him and his job for granted,,,he will no doubt find some way,,,or someone to soothe his feelings. Work the issues out..
Getting back to gender roles during the formation of the relationship.
Am I crazy in thinking that a man in a committed relationship with a woman would assist his woman in any way that was needed?? Without her asking?? Am I???
The male characters in my stories are not rich, but financially secure. Since my stories focus of the lives of people who are over the age of 50, I have decided they deserve to be free of financial stress. They have likely spent enough time facing sleepless nights trying to figure out how to stretch a few dollars. They have paid their dues,,literally.
I understand that in the real world, real financial security is a dream we seek. The average man might not have extra funds to help anyone. But honestly, how can a man be in an intimate relationship with a woman and NOT do the best he can to lighten her load??
Is this not what men are expected to do??
The area falls into murkiness because most older women have been taught to refrain from taking money from a man, because he will instantly become possessive. Women are also taught to learn how to take care of themselves. The importance of getting an education usually comes up during this conversation. A man who has no desire to take care of anyone but himself, is delighted to find a woman with this mindset.
The confusion thickens when so many women are quick to take on the job of taking care of the man in her life. Not helping him during rough times; but when the man is perfectly healthy, but unwilling to lift a finger to do anything unless it directly benefits him..
This mindset has become frighteningly common amongst all generations.
And lastly, there are the women who say if they accepted any help from their man, they would feel like a prostitute. Now, if he placed a wad of cash in her panties immediately after sex, I could possibly understand their feelings. However, a prostitute does not buy sexy lingerie just for him, cook his meals, or wash his clothes. A prostitute does not comfort and support him whenever the needs arises. Does she??
So, if a woman received a huge electric bill, or needed emergency car repairs, why would her man NOT help her with these issues,,,,,without her asking?
*And yes, I know there are women who are guilty of acting like prostitutes by demanding and begging for money whenever they can,,,because they can. But,,this post is not about women who would fall under the heading of 'golddiggers' or men who would be viewed as 'gigolos'.
*
By way of society, many people have chosen to throw out the positive traditions and expectations associated with relationships and families along with those in need of updating; ending up with confusion.
* Our young people are stuck with a web of inconsistencies regarding their basic roles in life.
*Older people, who should,,and do,, know better have jumped on the band wagon because it is less work for them.
For now, I will simply stick with my stories..
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