MARCUS CALUMET
~alone in New York~
The city is thick with raw emotions. The grief for the innocent lives lost is the first emotion visible on almost every face that you see. Shock is a very close second. We live in the great United States of America; this type of tragedy is simply not supposed to happen in this country,,to our people.
The fact that this has indeed happened, has opened the door to the unspoken feelings of,,fear. This is the type of fear that crosses all lines of diversity.
The question becomes,,will this event draw us closer, or pull us apart?
Thankfully, I was too busy during the first week, to focus on the state of my marriage. We worked 12 hour shifts, and by the time my head hit the pillow, I was knocked out.
By the second week, my body had more or less adjusted to the schedule. Suddenly, neither my mind nor my body were adjusting to being away from my wife. I was waking up several times during the night, reaching out and touching an empty space.
She called three times during the first week. We spoke briefly, and I at least knew that she was okay.
But, I hung up the phone feeling sad. My feelings were similar during our lovemaking on the morning I left for New York. The passion was almost bittersweet.
I decided not to go home on weekends. I had no desire to go home to an empty house. My mother and the kids were checking on the house.
Our two dogs were 'vacationing' with my mother. They would both need to be placed on a diet by the time we returned home. My mother loved animals; especially dogs, and they would probably move in with her if they could make that happen.
I smiled at the thought.
My team is made up of six men ranging in ages from 32-52. Four of the men are married, and neither of the remaining two have ever been married.
We are an interesting bunch by any account. In private, we refer to ourselves as the 'Dudes of Diversity',,,,,yeah, corny,,but effective. There are two Caucasians, one Hispanic/American, one Asian/American, one Jewish/American and one African/American.
Four of us have worked together for the last 15 years. I hand picked these men because I wanted the wealth of knowledge and insight our differences could collectively utilize.
It has worked because we have proven our respect and trust for each other, many times over.
I must admit that for the most part, my team is using this time away from home to unwind. I have never been a party animal and this would not be a great time to start.
I might just enjoy it.
However, I did rent a flick a couple of nights ago, but I fell asleep within the first ten minutes,,so perhaps I am safe.
I realized that what I really needed was some real comfort. I decided to use this much needed time to study my Bible, reflect and pray about my marriage,,and my life.
I love God with all of my being, but I am guilty of pushing the study of His word to the bottom of my list of what is important.
I will use what is a very sad time for me to glorify my Father.
Don't we always?
I called Vanessa on her way home. Her voice was,,,distant. She is obviously still in the same place she was before her trip.
I just found out that we will stay in New York for an extra week.
Chapter 6...Vanessa arrives home
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