For most women, a broken heart is included on her list of 'life changing' events. It is safe to say that 'betrayal' is the number one cause of a broken heart. When it comes to matters of the heart, a woman's emotions can stop her in her tracks. This is true when she falls in love and also when she is faced with the challenge of falling out of love; which is rarely mentioned in discussions about relationships.
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The feelings resulting from being betrayed crosses all societal barriers. The feelings are 'human' ,basic, yet far from simple. I remember the pain being much like I would imagine a knife with a serrated blade being twisted inside your heart would feel. The twists become even more painful when there is disrespect and a blatant lack of even the slightest compassion for someone you once professed to love.
When a man seeks pleasure(?) outside of his marriage, society automatically assumes the wife is in some way deficient. This mindset and the fact that not one person within his circle of family and friends is likely to point out the wrongness of his behavior, allows men to justify their behavior to themselves. The only meaningful conviction would come from God; and they are not interested in anything God might have to say,,,,yet..
A woman will first secretly blame herself for the completely selfish decision of this man she still loves. I mean, if she were providing all that he needed, he would certainly not defile his marriage. Well, would he?? Of course he would. If a man is that unhappy with his life, his attitude and behavior will be unbearable; to put it mildly. And just who is the person who has to deal with his new role as martyr? So, it is a guaranteed fact that both the wife and the husband are both equally miserable. However, she tries to ignore the fact that she can do absolutely nothing to please him. Although she is hurt, frustrated and totally confused, being unfaithful would never be an option for her. It is simply not who she is
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He is busy strengthening his justification by focusing on her many faults,,,real or imagined.
He can do that, right?
After all, he works hard to provide for his family, and he deserves to be happy.
Right??
Life is too short, and time waits for no one.
Right?
Why shouldn't he add another factor to the equation of his life??
A factor that makes him stand tall with his chest stuck out with pride?
I mean, everyone can plainly see that he is a good man!
Right??
Men cheat because they want to.
Men cheat because they can.
Men cheat because it is accepted by society without serious repercussions.
There is no shame, and very little guilt; if any.
Okay, now what about that broken heart?
Our stories begin with our birth. Our birth is also the beginning of our journey of life. Along the way, we will meet many on the path. Sometimes we will travel the roads together, loving and helping each other as we find our way. There are often roadblocks, temptations and detours that are simply too difficult to maneuver together.
What next?
The journey of life does not stop because someone else decided to venture down into a valley.
You have the choice to sit by the road and cradle your broken heart or you can seek the creator of your heart and ask Him to put it back together again.
God will first give you clarity regarding yourself. He will allow you to see your mistakes, and also show you all that is 'right' about,,you. Because you see, this is your journey, and yours alone. The person who broke your heart must find the way along his own journey and the paths of his choice.
God will also bless you with the ability to forgive.
Forgiving the person(s) who caused you grief is freedom that is hard to describe. Most people who hurt others care nothing about the forgiveness of the person they hurt because they,,simply don't care.
You will forgive him because of the peace it will bring to you.
* If God can forgive us; we can forgive him/her.
A prayer for someone who has brought you pain is a very powerful prayer.
We can all use the prayer of others because we must all reap the garden we have sown...
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As God heals your heart, you will gently fall out of love with the person who also fell out of love with you. Although the memories will remain, one day you will realize that all of the pain is gone. Once again, you can breath. The power of forgiveness and the absence of unrequited love, will open up your heart to receive all of the love that God has for you. When you have grown to the point of not just thinking, and believing, but knowing that God is the source of your strength, and that He loves you just as you are, you will begin to understand your worth. Your heart and your spirit will be open to love again, and also to be loved. You can once again listen to the lyrics of your favorite love song with a heart filled with hope and anticipation for what is yet to come...
So what really becomes of the broken hearted?
We will come to understand that without God firmly in His rightful place in our life, relationships will not have the strength to survive the real temptations and storms of life.
Our hearts don't have to be troubled, because God's love is forever.
Our lives will go on, because the best is yet to come...
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