Fathers and Sons

We are led to believe that every man would love to have a son. A son who will not only look like him and carry his name, but possibly even think like him. But then again, he wants him to be better than him, right??
The relationship between a father and son can be quite complex. The relationship between the father and his father can be a defining factor in just how complex. Women have been watching this drama unfold well, forever.
If this were even a somewhat perfect world, perhaps the lessons that men must learn to navigate their lives would be easier to grasp. Since it is not, the life lessons to be learned and life experiences to  prepare for are different for various cultures. The differences within racial and ethnic groups are major factors in the overall life experience for both men and women.
I suspect there is a tremendous amount of internal pressure on a father to raise his son to be able to survive and succeed in this world.
Men are logical thinkers. They have been programmed to believe that a man who is comfortable with his emotions is weak and unproductive. They have also been taught that a strong man is strong willed and slow to accept change of any kind ,unless it is being initiated by him. Little boys are taught that pain of any kind is not something that real men acknowledge. How sad for the little boys and the men they grow up to be.
How many men find themselves holding their beautiful infant son, (who happens to be his spitting image), suddenly realizes the enormous responsibility God has given them? How many are unexpectedly faced with issues they thought had long been put to rest? How many men have looked into their son's face and cringed because of the obstacles he knew for certain he would have to face,,,just for being born?  How many fathers are afraid he will ultimately fail to prepare their sons for life??
How many sons find themselves facing a father who refuses to open his mind just enough to hear a different view?  How many sons are pressured to live out the dreams of their fathers?  How many sons are afraid they will never meet their father's expectations??  How many sons will never know if they have earned their father's respect?? 
Fathers must be willing to trust their instincts as a parent. This is their son; not their father's. As with all parenting, he must be willing to embrace what was good from his childhood and add what he feels was missing. No matter how good a parent we are, because we are imperfect, we are guaranteed to miss something.  If you want to raise a good man; you must do your best to be a good man. You will always be his most influential role model; good or bad. Allow your son to grow. Do not be afraid to grow with him. There can be no growth without change. If you make a mistake, own your mistake; it belongs to you. Your son does not deserve to carry the burden of your choices. Yes, there are times when your child deserves an explanation simply because it is the right thing to do. Give your son the  respect and confidence he needs to become a man.  Take time to give him a hug and tell him that you love him. He needs to hear you say the words.
Trust the natural instinct of the man you raised.
 He is your son.
Sons must understand that they do not have the answers to any question they have not yet been asked. Your father has taken the courses and passed. Even if you feel that some of his scores are lacking, his survival and presence proves he did not fail. It is both his job and responsibility to teach you what he has learned, whether it makes sense at the time or not. He was present, doing the best he knew how. Do not be afraid to tell him that you love him. He also needs to hear those words.
 He is your father.
The legacy that a father will leave his son will live on generation after generation.
It is the responsibility of both the fathers and sons to build a legacy that will meet God's approval.