The impact of a man regarding the life of his daughter(s) lasts throughout her lifetime. This is true whether he is an active part of her life or not. A woman's father is the first man on earth who will love her unconditionally. His love will anchor the foundation of her expectations from any other man in her life. His love will plant the seed of confidence that will prepare her for the future.
I do not believe that confidence is something we are born with. I do believe that each child deserves to be provided with a genuine sense of worth. No matter what the circumstances of their birth happens to be, the worth of any child should be the same. I know,,,in a perfect world.
The relationship between a father and daughter is worlds apart from that of a mother and daughter. In our culture, most little girls have power over their dads that far surpasses that of their mothers. Men are generally clueless when it comes to the mind games their little girls have mastered. I have come to believe that little girls are much more adept than grown women. I find it amusing to watch a man who prides himself on being 'no nonsence' and always in control, turn into silly putty at the whim of 'daddy's sweet, innocent baby'.
There are many fathers who fail to recognize exactly how much influence they have/ had on the lives of their daughters. A woman's choice of men is often determined by the relationship they have/had with their dad. Their choices are also influenced by how their fathers treated their mothers; or women in general. If he is/was a good provider, respectful and loving to her mother, a woman will expect no less for herself from the man in her life. A woman will spend most of her life saying " My Daddy said..." or " Let me just ask my Daddy". ( It takes a confident man to appreciate the love his woman has for her father). If the father is/has been unfaithful, disrespectful, and controlling, she will either accept this is the norm or find it difficult to ever trust any man. Her relationship with her dad will also affect what she teaches her children. If the father is/has been absent from her life, she will likely spend a large part of her life seeking the genuine unconditional type of love her heart craves; only to be disappointed..
We live in a world where mothers are revered simply for giving birth. Good mothers are easily forgiven a magnitude of transgressions. Mothers are honored by our children from the time they can pick a 'flower' from your yard ( or someones yard!) to bring to "Mommy". They don't always think to bring something special to Daddy. This doesn't mean they love him less; this is simply the mindset of society. The loving embrace of a daughter is worth all the flowers in the world.
This mindset has perhaps given men a false sense of 'invisibility' when it comes to making bad choices. This is especially true when it comes to daughters.. Often, about the same time a man's daughter has reached adulthood, the man has also reached midlife. Whether he acknowledges it or not, he is often going through a sort of ' adult puperty'.( Men are in deep denial when it comes to male menopause). One of the worst and most devastating mistakes a man ( or woman) can make is to commit adultery. A woman of any age will be affected by the damage to her family structure, and the pain and humiliation to her mother; no matter how close she is to her father. A daughter is likely to feel her father's mistake extremely close to her heart. She began her life seeing her daddy as her personal knight in shining armor. He did not even have to have a white horse. Simply being there was enough. He dried her tears when someone hurt her feelings, rescued her from the (deserving) discipline of her mother, bought her the first doll she really cared anything about, taught her how to drive, how to change the oil in her car, and assured her that she could/would live her dreams.
He is her Daddy.
She will forgive him because she will always love him. But, he will lose her respect.
Many people have the mistaken idea that the turmoil in a marriage or the end of a marriage has little or no lasting effect on adult children. This is simply not true. While still painful, sons tend to look at the logical aspect because men are driven by their minds. It is very difficult for daughters to work through the emotional pain because women are driven by their hearts. Same pain; just handled differently.
No matter how old the daughter becomes, in her heart she will always be Daddy's little girl.
The love between a man and his daughter is a gift from God.
The relationship between a man and his daughter is his gift to her.
The love and respect a daughter has for her father is her gift to him.
Dads, live your lives in a manner that will protect your priceless gifts.
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