Soon after my daughter was born, while listening to a radio talk show, one of the guests stated that she loved her grandchildren more than she loved her children. She seemed to be filled with emotion as she tearfully professed her love.
Frankly, I was speechless.
I had a 5 year old son and a newborn daughter. I knew without a doubt that I could never love anyone more than my children.
I have three beautiful granddaughters and one beautiful grandson.
I am in no way surprised that I love them just as much as I love their parents.
There are no words to describe my love for any of them. Period.
Honestly, I expected my Nana experience to be much different from my reality. I certainly did not expect to be a 'single Nana'. I planned on bringing my little babies to my home to spend the entire summer, and Thanksgiving. I believe children should wake up in their own beds on Christmas morning.
The days and nights would be filled with small town experiences and visits to seldom seen relatives.
My plan was to take them shopping for school clothes each year until they entered middle school.
I would teach them to make homemade cookies and decorate elaborate cakes for special occasions.
I would take the girls to my hair stylist and help their mothers teach them how to manage their hair.
Moving right along to my reality...
My apartment was not the most interesting place to visit for children who lived in spacious homes with plenty of room to play.
My medical condition made it impossible to accrue vacation time,,period. I worked most weekends, so time together was always limited.
I spent a long time feeling sad because I was not in a position to be the Nana that I planned to be.
One day I finally realized that the 'other' Nana would have been only a shadow of who I am today.
The truth is simple.
Children have little interest in baking homemade cookies. The frozen cookies on the market today taste just fine.
Their parents take them on vacation and plan summer activities with their peers.
They have no interest in being bored a major portion of the summer, while their grandparents try in vain to raise them exactly as they raised their parents.
I could never afford to buy their school clothes; thankfully, their parents are more than able to take care of their children on a level that is completely foreign to me.
None of my grandchildren have ever seen my hair long and straight. They have only seen it long and locked.
They accept the fact that I look and dress different than most of their friend's grandmothers.
However, they have listened to my audio stories, my poetry and seen me portray multiple characters in plays written by their Nana.
I can nurture their creative spirits in ways that would not have been possible with the 'other' Nana.
I can talk to them in a way that I could not practice with their parents, because I do not have the responsibility of being 'the parent'.
They can talk to me and know that I will always have time to listen with the ears and special understanding of,, their Nana.
My grandchildren are being raised by parents who have taken the best of how they were raised and fine tuned the lessons to fit the challenges of today.
My children are excellent parents.
Their children, my grandchildren,,, are beautiful, intelligent, respectful, and compassionate,
When I hold my grand babies in my arms and look into their eyes, the familiar feeling of love that swells my heart when I look at my babies, blends perfectly to warm my soul.
I sometimes think about the 'other' Nana, but not very often.
God's will is just that,,God's will.
The course of my life has gone according to His will.
The "Nana' that I am is the 'Nana' I am supposed to be.
No comments:
Post a Comment