MARCUS CALUMET
~~~the husband~~~
There have been many times during the last 30+ years that Vanessa has pushed my patience into unknown territory.
Never, have I been this angry at anyone that I love.
My wife is difficult on her best days. In no way, form or fashion has her attitude and selfishness ever affected my unconditional love for her.
The woman I saw tonight was a stranger.
I have always been fascinated by the sheer force of my wife's personality. Her passion is a part of every facet of her being. If she loves you, she loves you with a love so strong, it is almost palpable. If she dislikes someone, her dislike is just as obvious.
She was 15 years old the first time I saw her. She had her hand on one hip, and was shaking her finger in the face of a tall, lanky young man who was trying to pull away from her wrath. I later found out that the young man had made an unacceptable comment about her best friend, Lena; who is still her best friend. The fact that she had to look quite a ways up at the young man, did not phase her at all.
I feel in love with her at that moment.
I have always treated my wife in the manner that I felt my mother should have been treated by my father.
My father was a man who never figured out how he felt about being a double minority. Although he was proud of his heritage as a Native American/ Black man, he also had a simmering anger regarding his role in a country that he was taught to love unconditionally by his elders.
He was an educated man who allowed his anger to hinder the use of that education to help his people,,, a people he so desperately wanted to help.
His anger kept him from being a loving husband and father.
He seemed to be afraid of,,peace.
Maybe he just didn't believe he deserved the life he had worked so hard to build.
He was killed in a drunken barroom brawl before he could ever figure what path to take.
How sad and ironic that his death would have been fodder for the average armchair racist.
I understand my father's frustration. I even understand his anger. But,,,,as I stood watching my grandfather and my uncles perform the burial rituals for this man who never told me he loved me, I made the decision to live my life in a different way.
That was also the day that I asked God to come into my life, to show me how to get it right.
I fully understood that I could/can do nothing without His love and guidance.
My ancestors from both sides of my heritage have paid for my right to love this country of ,,ours.
I decided to join the FBI in order to make a difference from the inside out.
One person will not change the system.
However,,,
When a door opens for one person, that person can at least attempt to hold the door open for someone else to enter.
It's funny how much of your past enters your mind when you are having a hard time dealing with your present....
What?.,,,I didn't realize I had driven this far.
Did my unexpected anger invite the ghosts of my father to my pity party??
I need to do some serious praying.
The bottom line is pretty simple,,,my wife seems to have lost her mind.
I have no doubt that she will go on the cruise without me.
I could probably stop her, but what would that prove??
She has to follow her heart.
It is a code we have always honored.
Until now, our hearts always managed to follow the same basic path..
So,,, I will go to New York.
I will also pray for my wife's safety, my sanity and our marriage.
Am I afraid?
Yes. I am very much afraid.
Chapter 3 ~ Nanie Tia~ ( Marcus's mother) and~ Miz Tina~ (Vanessa's mother)
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